Hairdryers, Henna, and Chuanrs

Hairdryers aren't just for drying Henna Art*...



*Refer to THE Big Mac and Clove(r) Holiday Bash for this reference... oops, you weren't there?? I sure hope you know someone who was to get the full story.

Uighur Uiord of the Uieek Archives

For those of you who missed the previous Uighur Uiords of the Uieek or who would simply like to refresh your memory, this post will be updated weekly as the new word of the week is posted.

Uieek 3:

soezliyaelaemsiz = do you speak?

As used in: Ubantochae soezliyaelaemsiz?

(Do you speak Ubanto?)

Uieek 2:

chaakchaak = joking

As used in: Admin Kavap Zikta chaakchaak yakshi kudroo.

(Admin Chuanr likes to joke around.)

Uieek 1:

kavap zikhta = meat on a stick

As used in "Gep yüzde yahxi, kavap zikhta."

(It is better to say the words face to face, it is better to eat kebab on the skewer.)

Who Says Tubular anymore?

Actually, who *ever* said Tubular? Well, that's not the point. The point is that as Raiders of the Lost Chuanr, we are the deckest that Beijing has to offer. And to make sure we stay deck, I just want to point out the following advice, given by The Hipster Handbook.

Like most social groups, Hipsters have their own way of communicating. They converse using special terms and lingo to show they are in the know. Being up on the latest slang is essential to being a Hipster.



Though it may be humorous to tell someone that his or her Pumas are "tubular," utilizing a dated term such as this can be a serious faux pas if not used ironically. Retro terms such as "grody," "bofu," "fresh," and "wicked" all work well when with a tongue-in-cheek, but such words should be used sparingly.



We recommend you take a quick peek at our glossary of terms, to educate yourself on the lingo. With a little practice, we will help you turn an awkward sentence like, "I'm gonna look bitchin' in my groovy jacket," into the much hipper "I'll polish in my deck flogger."

So, watch out for that slip of tongue tubular comment and keep those bofu in check.

Raiders of the lost ark: Chinese title

夺宝奇兵

夺 [duó] force one's way; 夺取 seize, capture; 争夺 fight for

宝 [bǎo] treasure

奇 [qí] marvellous, rare, strange

兵 [bīng] (士兵 shìbīng) soldier; 兵力 bīnglì military strength

So that makes us:

夺串儿奇兵

duó chuàn'r qí bīng

Raiders of the lost chuan’r

"Just the chuanr ma'am, just the chuanr."

It even looks like a 串儿

Relations between China and Japan can be a sticky, thorny, mire of pitfalls, salt in old wounds, sibling rivalry and mixed metaphors. None of this should concern us in the least - lest, of course, it comes to matters concerning meat on a stick. The Japanese too are seduced by that holy combination of concatenated flesh. How, you may ponder, could the refined and delicate flower that is the Japanese culinary art deal with the raw power, and sensuality, of the chauanr? To understand this is to understand the gulf that bisects these two disparate north Asian cultures. (No not Korea.) The Japanese Yakitori, derived originally from Chicken - I urge the purists in the audience not to take this too early as a sign of Japanese Chuanistry being deluded at best and depraved at worst - must simply be understood in its context. It is the delicate courtier's daughter to the Chuanr's buxom farm girl - the quiet scholar to the cocksure streetfighter. There is something to be said for both: whilst the Japanese counterpart to the revered lamb staff may lack its westerly cousin's power and windswept desert charm, it is seldom cooked by someone who is picking his nose and the brazier; while there may be no 'love bombs' of pure fat - the melting wagyu is equally capable of widening the glutton's girth; both too will satisfy the drunkard's flesh lusts... well some of them. So dear friends - before fearing a chaste and puritan trip to a land of propriety and order - remember that there too you can sate your chuanrnal desires.

Chuanr Raiding Endemic

The Chuanrnistani government has reported an increase in chuanr related raids into their territory. The incursions from China are drawing ire from the small central Asian republic founded on lamb consumption and small scale bamboo re-manufacture. The foreign minister Ms Itmohr Lahm stated: "Not only do these 'raiders' show a complete disdain for the rule of law, they eat all of our chaun. They are disgusting and rude; they only answer questions when asked in sets of ten, and even then they mostly get the answers wrong." When asked about the level and location of the country's chuanr and nang stockpiles the minister was about to answer when cautioned by an aide and the interview terminated. Chuanistan has posted extra garrisons of white coated youths along the border, but experts say this is unlikely to have the desired result.

A suspected 'Chuanr Raider'.